What do men want?

Dateline: Fri 12 Aug 2011

There's an anthropological argument that says women live longer than men because old women actually have something worthy to contribute on behalf of the next generation. Grandmothers, in theory, teach younger women how to be mothers; older women help out with babies and young children, offer lessons in patience and in general make nurturing contributions lasting into our 60s, 70s and 80s, or beyond.

Old men, it seems, also should be capable of "honorable old age" and giving reams of sage advice, but the case of Rep. Phil Hinkle, 64 years old, a Republican legislator from the Westside, may indicate otherwise.

What do men want?

Hinkle made Page 1 news in the Indianapolis Star today, in a story by Alex Campbell, that has people talking -- everything from "I told you so" (that Hinkle, a married man with a family, is a closeted gay) to explosions of righteous, justifiable indignation over the man's blatant hypocrisy: Hinkle is a Republican who co-authored the bill that gave us the "In God We Trust" license plate, and he also voted to support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and civil unions. Speaking of Republicans, Gov. Mitch Daniels also weighed in, saying the situation is "a personal family tragedy" and that the decision on whether Hinkle should resign should be up to his constituents in Pike and Wayne townships.

According to the Star, Hinkle responded to a Craigslist notice from Kameryn Gibson, who is either 18, as he claims, or 20, as he posted on Craigslist. The ad was placed in the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist under m4m, which, as Campbell explains, "is shorthand for men for men." Gibson said he was seeking "a sugga daddy" and Hinkle readily took the bait, the Star reports, emailing from his personal email account and offering Gibson $80 for "a couple hours of your time tonight" (cash up front) ..."with a tip of up to $50 or $60 'for a really good time.'"

No doubt you've read the story yourself  -- it is after 6 p.m. and it's been breaking waves all day long --  but for the record, here is the link:


The sordid details seem to speak for themselves, but the larger question (for me) is, seriously, what do men want? The answer seems, in situations like these, to always come down to one word: sex. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter if Hinkle is gay or straight or bi-sexual, although I'm sure his wife and family have other feelings on that matter, as do the gay rights groups and activists who are outraged over this particular breach.

The larger point is that older men acting out sexually inappropriately is just downright unsavory -- hello, DSK, as the French womanizer/possible rapist Dominique Strauss Kahn is known. Whether these guys are exploiting younger women or men seems of less significance than the fact that they are out of control and in search of cheap thrills at someone else's expense. Someone younger, invariably.

The late Lenny Bruce had a lot of smart things to say about male sex drive. My favorite was his bit, in which he is in a terrible bus accident, with his arm torn off. But he gets hot when the nurse arrives. "I can't help it, honey," he explains later on to his infuriated wife. "I just got hot! Maybe it was the uniform..."

Maybe the answer is abstinence. Maybe it's time for all these guys, especially those who are prone to hypocrisy and preaching family values (that leaves Lenny out), to take the abstinence pledge. After all, they push that "don't touch" solution all the time on the kids. Maybe they're the ones who need to take the course, or swallow the pill, or whatever they must do, in order to just say no.

Maybe that would be justice. Or at least, tit for tat. Maybe then they'd have something to contribute, in the same way older women do: a sense of knowing when it's time to move on, if nothing else.

For a somewhat different perspective, check out Bil Browning at Bilerico. He's made a practice of trying to expose closeted gays in the legislature, and he's understandably in an uproar about Hinkle. Here's the link, with names of others who are supposedly in the closet....


In the meantime, I'm hoping some GOP lawmakers will come up with this abstinence pledge thing for themselves. Democrats are also welcome to sign.

You're never too old to just say no.

Or, in keeping with family values and polite piety, no, thank you.





Tell The Truth [Member] said:

Oh, Ruthie, yesterday was a very sad day around here. Wanna know why?

Been there. Done that. Not the Craigslist "friend," but the rest of it. The resulting human collateral damage is overwhelming. Heavy heart for Rep. Huinkle, his family, and the young man who was victimized here.

Yeah, victimized. At 18, who knows the world like a 64-year-old legislator? I did a lot of stupid things at 18. Barely old/smart enough to utter coherent English sentences in public. Certainly not old enough to discern when a powerful grandfatherly-type is lording his position over you and trying to keep you from leaving a hotel room before the bizness is finished. Sordid.

There are more. Mostly Republicans, but not entirely. They're voting on important issues veery day. One senator got a tidy bequest form a gentleman many years his senior, and used some of that money to win his Senate seat.

These phonies think they're invisible. They're not. If they just sat there and voted on budgets and pensions it'd be one thing. But no.

They feel compelled to cower to Eric Mikller and his cohorts, all in a vain attempt to insert their "morality" and religion into our Constitution.

Let's take a breath today and pray for wisdom. For compassion for the families involved--most certainly incuding this young man, who spoke on CH. 13 last night in very cogent terms.

This, too, shall pass. If Hinkle survives it--literally--it COULD (repeat COULD) serve as a morals marker for all those who jealously and stupidly insist their brand of morality is sufficient for us all.

Because it sure as hell isn't.

2011-08-13 07:18:07

varangianguard [unverified] said:

I suppose that there is likely more to this story than has, so far, found the light of day. After all, who would ever consider it a good idea to seek companionship of this sort using their real name? Well, besides someone who deep down wants to get caught, perhaps?
And, who tells a total stranger that they are a state legislator, too? Is that supposed to sound impressive to an 18-year old? Perhaps.

Lots of questions that will likely never be satisfactorily answered, in public.

Still, people who want to be in politics don't get a pass from media scrutiny for lapses like this. Want privacy? Stay out of politics.

2011-08-13 07:47:26

hendy [Member] said:

Hinkle was Stupid. I'm not a medical professional anywhere, but I'd say that his behavior has hallmarks of narcissism, a trait that you should understand as it seems to affect many "leaders".

Men think about sex about every 45 seconds. It is, who we are, biologically. Those men that enter into trust relationships with others for monogamy will have to focus on their partners, despite how they're compelled. Hinkle sought satisfaction with a sex worker, outside the bounds of that commitment. Oddly, it's a bit different dimension than "In God We Trust", which is a nice aphorism, but doesn't belong on license plates because of our national sense of separation of church and state, and the absence of a mandate to endorse God by the state. Same sex marriage? Same answer; he can believe what he wants to believe, but I think he's wrong.

Now that the issues are separated, is Hinkle a bad man? The answer falls along the lines of whether hypocrisy counts for legislators, and whether we care about his commitment to his wife. I believe that only his wife has crux for an argument with him on the vow-breaking portion of the act.

Is it bad to have a legislator that uses sex workers? No. Is it criminal to be stupid? No. What then of Hinkle?

Will he feel enough shame to resign? I don't care. I don't care if Bosma pressures him. I wouldn't have voted for him in the first place, and don't believe in most of his votes and legislation, because I don't believe in any of his goals. I personally believe that his narcissistic behavior (as I perceive it) is reprehensible and representative of much of our legislature. If he has to quit, what of the other skunks? Can they please go, too? At the head of the list: Brian Bosma because of his classic religious orthodox behavior....

2011-08-13 08:01:41

Tell The Truth [Member] said:

And Pat Bauer, for staying too long, and Cindy Noe, for being classicly inept, and Woody Burton for giving us "In God We Trust," and Mike Delph for shamelessly pandeirng, Eric Turner for the same, and.....

When we tyrumpet a "citizen legislature," we get what we are. Plimbers, dentists, teachers, retired, corrupt, sane, smart in too-short supply. Couple that with the nation's most-lax lobbyist laws, and you get prescription for muck soup.

This sordid drama plays out most-harshly under Hinkle's roof. The public humiliation is nothing compared to the personal turmoil.

The printed version indicates the wife may have been a willing accomplice. That's her right.

I just wish we all didn't have to watch it.

Stand by. Others will fall. This lifestyle is far from unique--in the legislature, in the City Council, in life.

2011-08-13 09:27:02

Tell The Truth [Member] said:

And Pat Bauer, for staying too long, and Cindy Noe, for being classicly inept, and Woody Burton for giving us "In God We Trust," and Mike Delph for shamelessly pandeirng, Eric Turner for the same, and.....

When we tyrumpet a "citizen legislature," we get what we are. Plimbers, dentists, teachers, retired, corrupt, sane, smart in too-short supply. Couple that with the nation's most-lax lobbyist laws, and you get prescription for muck soup.

This sordid drama plays out most-harshly under Hinkle's roof. The public humiliation is nothing compared to the personal turmoil.

The printed version indicates the wife may have been a willing accomplice. That's her right.

I just wish we all didn't have to watch it.

Stand by. Others will fall. This lifestyle is far from unique--in the legislature, in the City Council, in life.

2011-08-13 09:27:04

Seneca [Member] said:

So, when are the other right-wing (and left-wing) sanctimonious, hypocritical, holier than thou, self-appointed guardians of other people's morals gay bashers in the Indiana statehouse going to be exposed for what they are? It can't be too soon.

2011-08-13 09:28:17

Seneca [Member] said:

Pictures accompanying stories about Hinkle show him in all his sanctimonious, holier than thou glory.

2011-08-13 09:35:40

Seneca [Member] said:

What do men want? For one thing, not to be constantly neutered and castrated by harpys and feminazis (the only term Rush Limbaugh ever used that I agree with) and their ilk.

It may not be politically correct, but so what?

Thank God, Ruth, you are *not* one of them.

2011-08-13 09:48:23

farmgirl [unverified] said:

This excuses Hinkle from nothing, BUT, what did that kid think he was getting into when he posted that Craigslist ad and photo?

2011-08-13 11:17:10

Whitebeard [unverified] said:

Trying to understand the premise of your question, Ruth.

Not all men succumb to such impulses, though, as Hendy wrote, the drive can be (at times) powerful - especially with young men who have testosterone levels in the stratosphere.

As to why SOME men can't control themselves, you might want to look into Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, maybe even a few Woody Allen films.

2011-08-13 12:11:07

Tell The Truth [Member] said:

Farmgirl: so now we want to chase down the kid?

Man, you're dead wrong.

He has apparently spoken the truth, publicly, and for that, we ought ot thank him. He refused the huge cash offer for hush money.

He's 18. He made a mistake. Glass houses and all. What he should've been able to reasonably expect from a 64-year-old fellow human being, is the absence of threatening language and intimidation when the kid tried to leave.



2011-08-13 12:22:52

georgia cravey [unverified] said:

What I would hope comes from this is that Mr Hinkle sees the light, starts to work for tolerance, inclusion & justice. He could get a good start by getting homophobic laws, like a constitutional ban on same sex marriage, off the agenda. Plenty of other action items could follow.

2011-08-13 15:39:21

Farmgirl [unverified] said:

TTT: Geesh? Sorry, an 18-year-old who offers sex and then is shocked when someone expects it? Defense of that naivete might have flown a few years ago, but there is plenty in today's society to make kids aware.
I do give him credit for rejecting the old lawmaker--he probably figured he and his sister were on the bad end of a shakedown. Hopefully he has learned a valuable lesson, without losing his life.
For Hinkle, of course, there is no excuse. Although, that level of stupidity is hard to believe.

2011-08-13 15:45:09

hendy [Member] said:

For Hinkle, there are troublesome signs.

Finding gay sex in Indy isn't a tough thing to do. But what his schtick was had to do with role-playing the dad-son thing. Inandof itself, it's probably done frequently. But 18 is a long reach. Makes one wonder what home life might have been like.

No matter. I hope his family and he can work it all out. Seems like there are a lot of issues, but I've seen much worse.

I hope they heal. I hope voters remember the conundrum at the polls. This was a stinker, who turned out to be more of a stinker than we knew.

2011-08-13 18:32:22

Ms. Cynical [unverified] said:

To me, the most interesting "bit" is that Hinkle conducted all this sordid business DURING a wedding reception he was attending for a political ally in the J. W Marriott.

(see <A HREF="http://advanceindiana.blogspot.com/2011/08/hinkle-was-attending-wedding-reception_13.html">Advance Indiana</A>)

2011-08-14 14:04:10

Ms. Cynical [unverified] said:

...and, evidently, Mr. Hinkle was attending that reception without Mrs. Hinkle.

2011-08-14 14:06:54

Tell The Truth [Member] said:

Farmgirl: you've really missed the whole point. I give up. But this kid is NOT the villain here. Is he pure as the drivne snow? Hell no. We all did some pretty stupid things at 18. I didn't have Craigslist available as a potential stupid-things venue. I shudder to think what might've happened if it had been available ot my generation. All we had were fake IDs and a beeline to the Ohio border for that God-awful 3:2 beer.

The "kid" is an adult, legally. He sought and almost went through with an offer for sex-for-pay. He's no Nobel Peace Prize winner, but he was the person in that hotel room who remarkably got hold of his senses and wised up, Fast.

Hinkle has four decades on the kid, and he went down swinging and threatening.

It's all so sad.

But the kid is NOT the problem here.

2011-08-14 14:18:30

Tell The Truth [Member] said:

Oh, Cynical, if you knew half of what went on in downtown hotel rooms during the legislative sesison, it'd curl your hair. Twice.

2011-08-14 14:19:50

farmgirl [unverified] said:

TTT: I didn't miss any point. And yes, he did behave better than the other "adult" in the room. And he is a little bit of the problem. Maybe he won't be any more.
Despite my alias, I've been in journalism more than 55 years. I doubt if you can tell me anything I don't already know. And deplore. I would just like to be surprised by depravity any more...

2011-08-14 17:42:50

Ms. Cynical [unverified] said:

TTT: as I've said before, there's no such thing as an adult male.

Why do we elect men to the legislature in the first place? Silly us!

2011-08-15 10:47:56

Tell The Truth [Member] said:

Yikes...this has turned into a male-bashing seminar.

2011-08-15 20:53:10

Ms. Cynical [unverified] said:

Well, TTT, both the hustler and the john in this sordid little tale are male....

2011-08-16 18:07:53

hendy [Member] said:

A fun statistic. Two guys. Yes, guys have a tough time keeping their zippers up. More often than not, however, there's a female in the equation, but not always.

This guy, however, was a jerk. The young man in the equation wasn't very bright, but bright enough to figure out that something stank. If Hinkle had just been a normal customer, perhaps we'd have never heard, just like we don't hear of the thousands of times every day when people do it for money and do it for fun.

Hinkle's stance on various issues, however, makes him a target for those that don't like the stench of hypocrisy, especially the ostensibly religiously-fueled type. He was bad. Maybe the voters will kick him out. It's tough to know. Lots of skanky politicians are elected all of the time and aren't vetted for their sexual appetites.

Do we need a test? How many skeletons in your closet, sir, or madam? Are you in the closet? Are you out of the closet? Do you care about the closet? Do you promise to keep your sexual appetite in check while in office? Check this box if you like young boys.

2011-08-16 19:45:10

Tell The Truth [Member] said:

If the guest list of that Keily reception was his typical hangers-on, it contained most of the usual Crowd of Suspects who want to place their religion into our Constitution. And every aspect of our lives. God-fearing, to be sure.

They should fear God. He is not amused by hypocrisy.

2011-08-17 08:13:00

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