Lightning strikes...

Dateline: Tue 15 Jun 2010

First we've got the Jesus statue going down near Cincinnati (see link; if you go to visit, make sure to stop by the Creation Museum in nearby Kentuck).

But creative genius being what it is, our old buddy Hank Hardwood -- the dummy with the heart of wood -- is on the case. Hank is a c/w singer, and here is his latest offering:


"Touch-Down Jesus

Come gather round you truckers,

And crowd up in this booth,

I’ll tell you all a story,

You bet it is the truth.

Concerning Christ replica

We’d see when we’d drive

Through the Buckeye state

Along I-75.


"Six stories did it tower,

Its blessed arms out-raised,

Made of foam and fiberglass,

Upon a steel-core frame.

A reverential landmark,

Some praised and others mocked,

That stood out in the parking lot

Of the Church of Solid Rock.


"Since ’04 it stood there

In the rain and sun,

Heralding the minions,

Like the ratured’d come,

The King-of-Kings, they called it,

But everybody knowed

It as ole “Touchdown Jesus

Who drove along that road.


On June 14th it happened,

As lightning lit the sky,

In lashing rain a lightning bolt

Split the flashing sky,

And in a seeming instant,

The fire took hold and stoked,

By winds, reducing Jesus

To ashes, sparks and smoke.


"Now if you ask the truckers

Why, here’s what they’ll say,

Never question motives

Of God’s mysterious ways.

But I know, yes, the reason

Why that statue that once stood

Was blasted by God’s hand that day:

It wasn’t made of wood.


"For when you build a statue

Of God’s Son, so revealed,

Never use no fiberglass

Foam or structure-steel.

For craven be the idol,

In God’s eyes as it stood,

When you erect the Savior ,

Make sure it’s carved from wood.

--Hank Hardwood"

Thanks, Hank.



Tell The Truth [Member] said:

Ruthie, I never cease to be amazed at your resources and what tickles your fancy.

2010-06-15 10:06:09

tom butters [unverified] said:

My madmen days in New York always began better when the Don Imus radio show on WABC played "Plastic Jesus."

"I don't care if it rains or freezes,
long as I got my plastic Jesus,
ridin' on the dashboard of my car.

I can go a hundred miles an hour,
long as I got the almighty power,
ridin' up there with my pair of fuzzy dice."

2010-06-15 10:41:54

varangianguard [unverified] said:

I hope "Hank" has a day job to fall back on. lol

Everybody at work has been cracking up all day long about this. Still, I suppose it's just as well that they never raised enough money to make this a full standing figure (which was their original intent), instead of just a torso (on up).

2010-06-15 14:30:01

Nicolas [unverified] said:

Interesante, yo cotizaci?n en mi sitio m?s tarde.
Gracias - Nicolas

2010-06-17 21:21:23

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